atrophy. not amputation.

So grateful for His love and protection and gentle whispers of love to my heart...

In the days when I feel my heart trembling a little and wondering and hoping and grasping for truth and life and more assurances that He is there....

He is.

He reminds me that all is not in vain. His promises are true, and His faithfulness blows my mind [daily]. He reaches down from heaven and holds me in the palm of His hand. The crazy thing is that I can feel it. The past few weeks have been insanity...yet this mind boggling peace continues to envelope me.

He is at work, and I am SO ready for whatever He has in store for me! Life is gonna change soon, I can sense that. And God is allll over it. He's got plans for me and I am on His mind. I'm just waitin'. But not sitting around. Active waiting....that's my new thing.

*subject change*

The sermon on Sunday struck a chord in my heart. The mortification of sin. Killing that sinful part of me slowly; letting it become atrophied with disuse. Choosing Him [in light of the Eternal] over choosing myself [in light of the moment.] It is a daily battle. A battle for love. When I wake up in the morning, I should be taking up the Word, wielding it like a sword. Girding myself for battle. The war is already won, through Jesus' blood, but I still have to fight. I cannot forget. I cannot become apathetic. I will not let the enemy lie and say differently.

As I was telling Beth about the sermon, I felt the Holy Spirit whispering to me. Jesus knows my frame. He's been tempted in every way, yet was without sin. He knows how hard things can get. He is all too familiar with the battle.  In those moments when I consciously choose Him [which can be harder], over choosing my pathetic sin [which might be easier in the moment], HE sees.

And He is blessed.

"Look! Look! She's fighting. She's picking up her sword and fighting her way out of the easier option, because she loves Me. All for love!" In those moments when I choose Him.... Jesus--Almighty Father, Righteous Son, Perfect Judge, Glorious Inheritance, Prince of Heaven, Beautiful One--is overcome with pleasure.

Mind. Blown.

Now...how can I know this and choose sin ever again??
Sin. I can't amputate it, but with Jesus' help and strength, I will starve it until it's like a limb that you forget how to use because it's just been too long...
Jesus, give me grace.