snapshots of life

Life is giving me a quiet chance to breathe.
in.
*pause*
out.

How kind.

I'm enjoying coffee in the student lounge, savoring worship and writing.  It is a glorious day...a mere glance outside makes me smile. The trees are budding, the colors are vibrant, and life is ever present. *happy sigh*  I'm so thankful for God's kind direction and gentle hand... He is constantly showing me His heart, His love, His presence. Look for it! It may not be obvious or blatant.  It can be subtle and silent. His thoughts are everywhere. His Spirit is continually searching...for hearts to love Him, for minds to seek Him, for spirits that are hungry for Him.

He is on the move.

****

I've been pondering friendships recently, and how radically they affect me.  Emotionally. Spiritually. Mentally.  I sometimes have to take a step back, and remember that it's not necessarily a good thing to rely so fully on people to satisfy me. Friendships are definitely God ordained, but I can't let them define my life. Ya know?  This quote from C.S. Lewis kinda puts things in perspective for me, "Don't let your happiness depend on something you may lose."

I feel things so strongly...so tremendously. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I'm not afraid to love fiercely. Too fiercely sometimes. And yet, I live by the motto: we were made to love fearlessly and without condition. I cringe from this motto sometimes though [selfishly]. I know I will be disappointed... What if I get hurt? What if my heart gets broken? "'So and so' won't always be there for me and then my life will be OVER," so says the drama queen in me. She's also the same person who forgets that Jesus is all I really need. I mean, really.

Sometimes God shows me in sudden and startling ways that people will not [forever] be there for me...and even if they are, they are human and subject to disappoint me. Not because they fail necessarily, but because of the "too perfect" expectations I put on them... He is the only One that will never fail me...never disappoint. His plans are always for my good, whether I realize it in the moment or not. I'm human and I'm still learning to trust Him.

...just some thoughts.

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Such goings on we have here at Verity these days. The conferences, the people...the strangers!  It's a little disquieting at times.  There are moments when I feel as though we've been invaded by aliens; people who know next to nothing of how Verity works or our "normal" way of life. Ha! Normal....

Also I really really really miss the Peru mission trip group. So much. Life seems....so much less without those people. I'm beginning to realize just how much some of them mean to me. I pray they are doing well and thriving in the Spirit.

****

Some days I just want to create cakes, bake cookies, serve muffins, drink coffee, and listen to worship music... oh! and finish my novel(s).That will be me someday soon. My bakery/bookstore/prayer room is frantic and scrambling around in my mind, begging to get out.

Everything in its time.

****

It was SO amazing to see some dear old classmates yesterday. We were friends back in the day, they got married (to each other) and now they have a sweet, beautiful baby boy. Ahh... time and seasons are so interesting. Makes me feel old. ;)

****

random song I like at the moment. listen here.

xoxo
-jaybee