trust

Trust.

It looks like a simple and small enough word…looks unassuming and quiet.

Until it’s not just a word anymore. Until it forces you to choose, and breathe, and…jump.

Right off the seemingly endless cliffs straight into Jesus’ arms.

Sometimes trust just makes sense. Like when you’re little and “of course, Daddy will protect me.” Sometimes trust means letting your heart hammer in your chest for a few minutes as a tentative “yes” trembles from your lips. Sometimes trust means taking a deep breath and saying “I trust You” out loud.

All my life, certain phrases have swirled in my head. Some were things that other people told me were true. Some were verses of comfort I discovered in the Word. Others were words directly from the heart of the Father to me.

“He has good things prepared for you.”

“Trust Him. He is in control.”

"They have not heard or perceived by ear, nor has the eye seen a God besides You, Who acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him."

"I am working on things for you that you've never considered. I'm working behind the scenes."

As I told a dear friend earlier this week, when we let go of all our expectations an give our lives fully to Jesus, it is then fully His responsibility! We don't have to worry about it...because it's no longer ours.

But when it comes down to it, I can't just let words tumble around in my head and hope that trust in Jesus would magically happen. I have to actually trust Him. I have to let go of petty desires and fight for the desires of His heart. I have to let go of my expectations and fears and doubts, and trust that because He is a wonderful Father, He desires excellent things for me. I just have to let it go.

Trust is a beautiful thing. It allows us to rest, and it allows God to work in our lives without our own ambitions, thoughts, or demands getting in the way. *wink* Imagine that. Stepping aside and letting the greatest Author EVER write your story. Glorious writing, that.

My favorite example of this happened a few months ago. Well, it *started* years ago, when I chose to trust Jesus about the man He would have me marry. I'm not saying it was easy. It wasn't. I fought Him sometimes. I fought for control. I tried to take the pen from His hand and write my own story, but that didn't work. Ever. He would take the pen back and gently remind me that He knew better. His thoughts were far above mine, and didn't I know that by now? So gentle, so kind... I had to tell Him--out loud--that I trusted Him. I continually gave my desires and expectations back to Him. I reminded myself that He saw my heart, and He knew what I needed. 

He is the best gift-giver in the history of ever.

A few months ago, Jesus gave me the best earthly gift and treasure. And it was such a surprise!! The man of my dreams--my best friend--stepped up and offered me his heart. I was blown away and utterly humbled. In the space of about one breath, a million thoughts raced through my head, and the most brilliantly shining one was from the heart of the Father. And I knew that this was what He had prepared. Jesus' joy and excitement for me poured into my spirit so quickly I felt like my heart would burst. 

JMan, who knew, huh?? How am I so blessed? You are the best earthly gift I've ever been entrusted with. I am daily blown away by the story that Jesus is writing for us. I am SO excited to do life with you and go on Jesus-adventures forever. :) I love you so very much.

Thank You, Jesus.

p.s.  My trust journey isn't over yet. It is a daily laying down of all that I think I need or assume I want. He is such a patient and kind Teacher and protective Daddy.