a sparrow in His hands

Location: Home

Place: Kitchen table

Job: Human being

Current Emotional Status: Whiplashed

*deep breaths* well…here I am…back home and curled up with a cup of caffeinated chai as I pour over Pinterest in an attempt to help organize, plan, brainstorm details for my little sister’s wedding. The last 10 weeks were spent in the “Deep South.” I met quite a few lovely people there… Some of those people I loved a whole-heck-of-a-lot [you know who you are], some of those people I loved quite a bit…and some of those people, when I think about them, I just smile and say “bless their heart.”

I won’t lie. It was ridiculously hard to say goodbye to some of those people I was honored to call friends… they lit up my life for the weeks I was there, and they continue to bless me on a daily basis. I look back on those 10 weeks and stagger a little in awe of what God did, in me and for me. He was faithful in the moments when I sorely lacked it. He was steady when I was not. He showed me love when I had none. I know He brought me to Alabama for a reason, I know He had a plan…even if I don’t see the whole picture right now.

Now, as I’m back home and I fidget a little with the process of settling back in and finding “my place,” I hear Jesus say, “your place is by My side…don’t worry about doing, just…be.”

…

Honestly, I struggle to be okay with that. The past few years at Verity were great, you know? I knew exactly what I was supposed to be doing, I knew what everyone expected of me, and I knew that I was in God’s will. It was a time of perfect peace and contentment, despite the chaos and craziness that sometimes went on in the V kitchen… And I know I’m in God’s will to be here at home right now, but I don’t have the direction that I’m used to, unless you count the only direction as “just be.” What does that look like? Not entirely sure yet...

The daily verse yesterday on Bible Gateway was perfect and made me smile in the realization that He is indeed watching out for me.

“Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.” Like 12:6-7

So. Here I am. Just being. And resting. And believing. And trusting that He is at work behind the scenes on plans that He has yet to allude to.

I am a sparrow in His hands.