I love writing. I really do, honest. Lately, though, it’s been tough. Blogging therefore, has also taken a backseat burner. Sad truth. However! I have been inspired. Blogging these thoughts has taken me way too long. I'm not really sure what's wrong with me. I even rethought posting this. But I have to.

People…I love Jesus. He is gracious. He is faithful. He is a friend and confident. He is more than I deserve, He is who my soul loves. At the end of December I took a road trip with Grace, Lynae, and Alyssa to Kansas City for the One Thing conference. Words don’t even begin to cover the experience…I loved every second of it. God was so faithful…He drew near to me and gave me words of encouragement that will never leave me.

The first few days, I had trouble entering into worship. My spirit seemed quiet. It was a little frustrating, but someone reminded me that sometimes it’s okay for our spirit to be quiet before God; I just needed to pray that God would reveal what He was trying to show me. I begged God to draw near, to show Himself to me in a powerful way. I needed to feel Him in a way I had never felt Him. (side note: Let me just say, that when you pray for God to draw near, when you ask for Him to come close, He does! There is nothing He longs for more! That’s exactly what He created us for…). Jesus ministered to me in so many different ways the first few days.

The third day was one of the most amazing days. But that's a story for a different time. ;)

The last day of the conference however, was by far, the most impacting. I had a premonition that it would be, and I wasn’t wrong. In the afternoon, I was prophesied over. God definitely spoke to me. He told me that I’d labeled myself…but to remember that a label is not a tattoo. It’s a sticker. I can take it off. Over the next few hours, God slowly began to show me some of the labels I had put on myself, and lies that I had believed. “Rejected…unloved…unworthy…” those were just a few of the words He showed me that I'd put myself under. He even uncovered the moments in my childhood where I had subconsciously believed these things. I let it all go. I took off the stickers...

I’m on the journey, the adventure, of seeking out Jesus and how He feels about me. I really want to share some of the things that God has laid on my heart. Can I share some of these things with you? Things about how He relates to me, how He feels about me, and how nothing I can do will change His heart towards me. I need to tell you, because I love you. And I know Jesus loves you even more. God is a jealous God. I’m a mercy…I get jealous easily. I know about jealousy. But my jealousy is nothing compared to His, because His jealousy is righteous. He gets burning jealous, to see me looking anywhere other than Him for my affirmation or attention. God is jealous for YOU. He longs for you to look at Him—to fully turn your face toward Him. His affirmation is the only one you ultimately need. His love is the only love worth living for…

Have you ever thought about how outstanding that simple fact is? The Almighty God of the Universe, the obsession of the ages, the Creator of time and space, adores you!! Not only does He love you, He likes you. He delights in you. Do you know what “delight” means? It means that He takes pleasure in you. You make God smile…you bring Him JOY! He enjoys the very thought of you! You are beloved of God the Father. He listens and moves at the sound of your voice!

We were made for this love. It is beautiful and precious, holy and righteous, perfect and unstained. It is unending, unstoppable, unquenchable. God doesn’t look at me and see my past mistakes. He doesn’t see my failures. He sees a daughter, beloved to Him and covered in the beautiful mantle of His Son’s blood. He doesn’t define me by my struggles. He defines me by His raw passion for me, and my thirst for Him! He knew I would fail, struggle, and fall. But His grace is sufficient and He died for me anyway! I was on His heart while He was on the cross.

These are just a few of the new thoughts that have been pulsing through my head over the past months... hopefully, I'll be updating more often from now on...